A family member I thought once loved me, actually I can now say out loud abused me.
It’s hard to look back and say my exact age when the abuse started. I just remember waking up to my uncle in my bed feeling frozen, closing my eyes waiting for the moment I heard the door close because I knew that’s when he had left… and I could breathe again.
Something needed to change. I felt dirty, I felt ashamed…I always thought this never happened to boys, so why me… I’ve never felt so lonely and lost.
I needed a way to escape. I decided to join the military…but I still wasn’t ready to tell people what happened, to be honest, I believed this way I would never have to tell anyone.
Fast-forward ten years serving in the military; I still hadn’t spoken about my childhood. Time had allowed me to push my past to the back of my mind. But… a day that changed my life forever was back in 2019. My misses was watching the soaps on TV and there was a story-line about a character that experienced sexual abuse as a child. I remember looking up at the TV, my vision going all blurry and all I could see was a younger me with my eyes closed frozen in my bed. Why didn’t I fight back…how could he still hurt me all these years later?
That night I told my wife everything… and that’s my life started.
I’m now getting professional help, I understand my feelings and people are listening to me. No one is turning a blind eye because I am a male.
Please don’t make the same mistake in life as I did. Life is for living. Break that silence, sexual abuse can happen to anyone regardless of your gender. It is so important to talk, and be reassured you are a stronger person by doing so. I’m now being supported by professionals at Trust House Lancashire and learning how to cope and heal with my past.